Boys.

So their new snacking spot is behind the couch. They think this is cooler than the table, maybe a little daring just because its not the table and how can I get angry when it brings them all together? - even if it is in mischief. Lex just follows these guys around everywhere- he is by far my most daring little one. If they climb up a chain ladder at the park you better believe this guy is not far behind- I feel like he is growing up so fast. It breaks my heart sometimes though because they will be playing cars or superheros and he walks up and they run as fast as they can into my room( with him hobbling behind) and shut the door in his face:( I am always having to step in and mediate...I know one day they will get it. The other day in the car we drove through a patch of skunks or something terrible- and Cash kept whining everytime he unplugged his nose because it stunk so bad and he finally yelled-'get the baby out!'...Cash, thats not the baby..'yes it is- he stinks (sob sob)...he's stinky(more sobs)...' gotta love him.

Quick lake trip

I'd like to thank papu for wearing this life jacket this way. You don't get laughs like this too often. Shameless:) We took them to the lakehouse when they were here just for the day- and aunt V and bobby, too. A good time was had by all- too bad Vanessa is such a wussy... I think she lasted one minute on the tube- sorry I don't have pictures- but she was off faster than i could have clicked one anyway:) Really- I don't even have pics of bobby and mauri.. which would have been good. One of the things I most enjoy in this life is watching people fly off the tube or hurt themselves while wakeboarding...
This picture of Cash while he is asleep- gosh he looks like such an angel- I need to take a mental picture of his sweet face to reference when he is telling me 'he doesnt like me and he doesn't like people':) I think little Cash must be very much like me- he knows just what to do when he is angry that will really get me..but then he knows how to squirm into my heart like no one else. I know I will hate the day that he gets too big to crawl into my lap and say "i wuv you, mom".

Socks

Sometimes I think- there is no way I will forget this- and then what do you know...a couple of days later I am trying to remember what I was going to write down. I need to recommit myself to recording everything. Yesterday morning I was trying to get everybody ready to take Pierce to preschool- I brought everybody's clothes down and told Pierce to get dressed while I dressed the other two. He kept saying he couldn't get his socks on (they were pretty long and tight, I guess) and he would just throw them. I was scrambling trying to get myself dressed- and I kept walking by and saying 'sure you can!, brinley (cousin) can put her socks on..' and I meant it in a positive way, I swear- but I think that was the wrong thing to say. next thing I knew he was VERY upset; kind of this mad cry pout on the stairs- so I came and sat down on the stairs to help him. he was crying as I helped and saying 'I cant put on my socks!' over and over...SO discouraged and sad. I helped and tried to distract him with the pumpkin fun he was going to have at school- but if you know pierce you know he is not easily distracted. We finally got in the car and drove to preschool- but when the teacher came to get him from the car he said he didn't want to go (he NEVER says this- he jumps out before the car is stopped usually) and when we tried to convince him we got the sad cry again. (????) So I pulled the car up and held him for a minute and asked him why he didn't want to go (knowing, I might add, that it was because of what I said) and he finally said it as he softly wept...he couldn't put on his socks. Soooo, I drove home feeling like the worst parent in the world- but determined to fix it. We came in and he sat right back on the stairs with his shoulders slumped. I went in and got a pair of my socks- ripped off his other ones and we started over. You should have seen his face!!!! This is why you can't explain why being a parent is the most wonderful thing in the world! He went from total agony to so proud and excited- he jumped up and said 'I did it!!" and kept showing me and Mauri and Cash- that proud little smile I will never forget:) and then immediately he wanted to go to school. So off we go...

Small side note. We started Cash in september in the same school because we thought he would like it- I gave it about a week and a half, and even though they said he liked it- he was still sad to go- and it broke my heart- so we pulled him out. figured he would go next year...

We get to the school- Pierce Jumps out to run in and tell his teachers (about his socks that are hanging out the back of his shoes:) and CASH- says he needs his backpack because he wants to go!!!! I clearly dont have it- nor do I think he will actually go- but we all walk in anyway and cash runs to his class circle (they are reading)-and plops down in the middle and tells them all about our halloween decorations. I couldn't believe it.

A low of lows to a high of highs...does anything else describe motherhood quite so well?

Cash's birthday: Part 2

Well here we are again at pump it up- surprise! my favorite place to have a party- and my kid's, too. My sweet Cash turned three in July and I really feel like things go fast with him. In so many ways he seems to catch on to things so quickly- but then he still seems like my baby, too. Cash is my tender little bear. He puts up such a fight when you want a kiss or a hug- but then gives them freely when you least expect it. He screams at Lex for even looking at his toys- but then when he doesn't know I'm looking I see him sharing and patting him on the head. The other day he got down from the table without eating enough so I told him he had to eat three more bites; he got the sweetest smile on his face, he batted those eyelashes at me and said, so sweetly, like an angel, "no." What am I going to do with him:)

he couldn't decide what kind of theme he wanted- so he went with ALL the superheros..

yep. thats my wolverine!

and yes- just in case you missed it- he did have an accident:)

classic. look at his face!

his happy birthday headband from church- I love it when he smiles- usually means mischief!

Cash's birthday: Part 1

Cash got quite the celebration this year. Aba and Papu came to visit on the day of his birthday- which was a fun surprise- and they brought all sorts of goodies! superhero pajamas and shirts, superhero cakes, etc. and you know this guy and his superheros:) he was loving every minute.

they actually brought this cake from el salvador- yes- on the flight. now that is a birthday cake!

massive upload of pictures...lets revisit some special moments in the past few months:)

This would be the downside of having an extra large memory card. But oh how I love going through these pictures! These guys crack me up- I truly don't know what I would do without them. I have been writing down (trying to) the funny things they say and I have to share a few: Pierce's favorite church song is "I am a child of God" and he kind of walks around singing it sometimes- I watched him the other day and realized what he was singing...'I am a child of Gone'- so I asked him who he was a child of? gone. They are also soooo excited for halloWING- and don't try to correct them. Oh- and their prayers get sweeter and funnier every day. While blessing the food Pierce then gave thanks for his bones; and that they are in his body; so that he doesn't walk like jello. And Cash- well blessing the food is what we are working on...but he is thankful for his potty and his booty.
He likes the superheros...

riding the car all over his belly.

might as well start you early, Lex!

guess who?

do you like our piano? clearly they need a little bit of culture:)

something very sad..

I have been wondering the past couple of weeks how I would post this. three weeks ago I went to the doctor for my monthly checkup and my sweet baby boys heart had stopped. I was so shocked and so so sad in that moment she told me I did not know what I would do. How does that happen? I was almost 17 weeks and had no signs or warning that anything was wrong. I think I felt my heart break- I am crying just remembering that day. To me, he was already a member of our family.

I will never forget how this loss felt- but what I want to write is how this has changed me.

I had never taken my baby to an appointment- but this time little Lex came with me. He was being his usual monster self for the 45 minutes that we were waiting, and when the doctor came in he wouldn't let her hold him (usual for him:) so he sat (writhing and eating goldfish) right up with me on the table during the ultrasound. When she told me and I started to cry my sweet boy stopped immediately and laid his head on my chest..and did not move until Mauricio was able to meet me there. I know I was being taken care of that day. I know that my heavenly father did not want me to be alone and that He knew that having my beautiful healthy boy sitting on my lap would make it better. I came home to my mom who was at my house as soon as she heard and then my two sisters who were there shortly after. My sister in law came no later than an hour later with the most amazing dinner and homemade bread. As I sat there with my mom weeping together- my sweet Pierce was walking back and forth in the hallway in front of us making silly faces and dancing- trying (desperately) to get me to laugh. Cash (my most sensitive) would just come lay his head on my lap. Its funny how things like this make you appreciate what you have. Its funny how the day before I would have gladly let my sister take my boys for a few hours- but when she offered all I wanted was to hold them close. I feel like I am a better mom. I feel so lucky to have these boys and so honored to be chosen to raise them I don't want to fall short. I know what a precious gift they are and what a miracle it is to have them. I feel like being a better sister and a better daughter. I had friends calling and reaching out to me everyday for two weeks. For those of you that did- I hope you know how much it helps just to know people care. You inspired me to be a better friend and neighbor.

I cannot leave out Mauricio. I'm crying again. My husband and my best friend who knows me better than I know myself- and loves me even though I am terrible. I can't imagine going through anything without you. I have my soul mate to be with me when I need someone the most. I had my best friend there at the hospital to make me laugh when no one else could. I am so lucky to have married you. I love you.